


Winged Connection

by FaintinDestruction



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, soulbonding, wing!kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-27
Updated: 2014-04-27
Packaged: 2018-01-21 00:29:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1531307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaintinDestruction/pseuds/FaintinDestruction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean is in need for distraction and Cas has an idea that will give the term 'winged' a new meaning.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Winged Connection

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language so be patient with me. I basically cry about Castiel's broken wings and had to leave it somewhere. Enjoy and smile about these two idjits <3

“So, …no wings anymore?” Dean was not sure why he even asked. There was a moment of boredom and the urge for distraction from the constant itching mark on his arm and he looked interested into the angel’s face. “Like, at all..?”

Cas replied by crooking his head, always searching directly for the hunter’s eyes. He had wings but he wouldn’t call them like that anymore. He was ashamed of what was left from them. Bones and some feathers, a few huge ones but most of them burned and broken. It didn’t hurt for but he felt this phantom pain sometimes and the need to flap them because of the twisted feathers and shifted bones. His right wing has still some healthy and strong feathers left but not enough to use it. He lowered his head and clenched his jaw slightly. He actually moved his shoulder and hid the demolished wings behind his back, even though dean couldn’t see them.

Dean of course notcied this expression and frowned. Seemed to be a tense subject and he didn’t want to bother him about it. “Sorry. No need to answer.” He turned away to look through some papers about abaddon.

“I still have them.” Castiel said after a while and Dean shrugged when he stood much closer next to him then before. He was like a cat sometimes.

Dean dropped the papers. “So why don’t you …?” Blinking at the angel, he made a flapping movement with his elbows.

Cas shook his head. “I can’t… they have no use anymore.” Again, he felt like he needed to hide them even more, his expression dropped a bit. The human emotion of shame and loss was showing in his face.

Dean dropped his arms. He knew Cas long enough to know what was going on behind these deep blue eyes. Still, all these new expression Cas was forming randomly were another reminder how human he was once. He still felt guilty from throwing him out of the bunker and he couldn’t imagine what the angel has been through. “Destroyed ..during your fall?” Dean asked hesitatingly. 

Cas nodded and shifted on his feet. “It is a small punishment, regarding to what I have done.” Castiel replied, still feeling the weight of his deeds on his shoulders.

Dean furrowed his brows. “Dude, you didn’t know.. how many times do I have to repeat that.?” the hunter focused on his friend and ignore the constant throbbing his right arm. It helped to focus on someone else. “Cas, seriously. Move on..we’re working on this.. maybe you get your own grace back so you work on the right voltage..must feel itchy to run around with the wrong batteries.”

Cas made a nod but got a bit more serious. “It’s equally to the itch you feel caused by the mark on your arm.” He was still angry that Dean took such a big step just to kill Abaddon. This burden could cause so many issues.“Is it influencing your instincts already?”

Dean stepped back and squinted. “Way to fuck up a calm conversation, Cas. I deal with it. Abaddon is worth a branding.” Dean wasn’t angry but he was annoyed that everyone seems to overreact. Yeah, the mark was causing this ‘need’ to kill, to destroy and the little rush of power turned out to be addicting but he knew, so he could work with it right? The hot feeling in his arm moved up his spine and his throat got dry. Dean didn’t notice his hand clench and the shiver that started when he had these thoughts. His eyes got shifty and he was gone for a second when Cas grabbed his forearm. “Dean..” his low voice was shrugging dean out of his little trancelike state. The hunter blinked. “Sorry, I..” He stared at the angel’s worried face and got angry but tried not to show it. Why is everyone so protective and worried? He was a freaking grown up and he knew what he was doing. Kill this bitch and maybe finding a way to get that crap from his arm. He ripped out of the angel’s grip. “Just tired.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose and turned away. He would love to grab a bottle of scotch to drown these thoughts.

Cas crooked his body to see the profil of dean’s face. “Did you hear what I said?” The angel was sure he didn’t. The hollow expression in the hunter’s face for a few seconds made clear that he was already craving for death and kill, blood and revenge. And it was too easy to actually sense it. It was not his fault but just owning the mark without knowing the consequences was just foolish.

Dean moved his head to face him. He didn’t hear whatever Cas said before, which reminded him how far he was into this already and he was scared. Crowley was right. He was frightened about the influence and the basic instinct that was pulling him deeper and he feared that he would become who he was in hell. Cas knew that Person. He knew what happened, what he did. The hunter turned completely and swallowed. “Sorry, what was that?”

Cas shifted on his feet, straightened. “I asked if want to see my wings.” He said. It was an offer for distraction. He remembered the awe in dean’s expression everytime he showed only just the shadows of his wings. Cas actually lied. He said something completely different when Dean was off but he saw the expression and the urge for a different subject. He felt bad that he brought it up in the first place. His friend was scared, afraid but acted different to the outside. Dean always tried to hide his feelings but Cas saw it clear as the day. He never said a word about it but he knew.

Dean on the other side gave him a look that said ‘thank you’ because he wouldn’t say it, he would never admit that he felt trapped and uncontrolled. They never needed much words. “Sure.” One could see the shoulders of the hunter relaxing slightly. “I you want.” He added and stepped back.

Cas hesitated for a second and licked his lips. “You should prepare for the sight. It’s not.. pleasant.” He said low and closed his eyes briefly. He knew the hunter was able to see them without getting harmed by it but he still felt a bit shame when he shrugged his shoulders, opening his not yet manifested wings. He unfolded them to full high until he let out a sigh then caused them to get visible. The Air shifted, got thick from electricity and the power in the bunker got influenced by it.

Dean held his breath when the lights in the bunker started to flicker and he saw something behind Cas shifting. It looked like these image artifacts in old movies when the wings seem to manifest. At least this time was no thunder and lighting which let Dean smirk mentally because it was another proof that Cas was showing off the first and second time he saw the shadows. The hunter crooked his head up the moment they appeared completely and there was a mix of awe and sympathy in the hunter’s face. He saw the bones, feather hanging down on them like dead bodies on trees, waving a bit in the breeze that the manifestation was causing. Some spots had more feathers then others and he assumed their true color was dark blue once but a lot were burned on the edges. He exhaled the breath his was holding noisy and stepped closer. He actually saw a few feathers falling to the ground and his chest ached by the view. There was a hissing noise that wanted to move out of him but he could stop himself. Some huge feathers were twisted and crooked and some bones didn’t look normal either. It still was an awesome sight and it reminded him who and what castiel was. There was some reaction inside him, more from his arm that inhabits the cursed mark. The darkness that seemed to grow inside him was aching when the angelic presence was physically sensible, thickening the air with energy. He tried to ignore it.

Cas opened his eyes and watched the hunter expression. There was no disappointment to see but the slight sadness of what he was witnissing was clear. He also saw the veneration and surprise in the green wide eyes that were staring at his wings. The angel lowered his head, wings twitching just briefly. Cas sensed that there was some reaction inside the hunter and watched how the hand of the marked arm clenched but dean seemed to be able to control it. There was darkness inside the hunter that couldn’t deal with heavenly forces but Cas could still see the bright soul of the human which would always fight, always shine and not even the demonic mark would change that. He would take care of it somehow. 

The angel smiled almost shyly and blushed. It was not something an angel did often, showing his wings to someone since ordinary humans couldn’t look at them. But Dean was never ordinary .There was a glow, a light surrounding them that Dean would not even notice because a part of this light was inside the hunter, constantly reminding Castiel of the bond, the little invisible thread that was keeping them close even in the distance. Castiel tilted his head, looking to the side to look at his right wing which was not as bad looking as the left and sighed when he crooked the wing towards to get a closer look.

“Does it hurt?” Dean finally said something and Cas faced him again, shaking his head. “Sometimes it feels like pain but it’s hard to explain.” Cas shifted his weight, his wings moving with his movement, an attempted natural reaction to balance the angel. 

“Well, that seems like it has to hurt.” Dean pointed at a bone that was unnatural twisted and almost completely callow. Cas couldn’t see the bone he meant but he felt it. “It’s uncomfortable.” Cas replied and moved the said wing with no effect. “I also seem to be unable to reach the twisted feathers close to my vess… my shoulder blades.” Sometimes he forgot that this body was his now.

Dean pursed his Lips. “That’s why you seem so pinched sometimes?” He rose a brow, giving the angel a smile. “Kidding, you want me to ..fix them? Or is this.. like touching your privates?” Dean grinned but still blushed. Would that feel like tickling? Or is it more a like moving fingers through his hair? Why was he thinking about moving his fingers through Cas’ hair? There were enough examples. He blinked. Sometimes these thought came off guard and he wondered if this had something to do with the bond. He never really thought about these random urges and thoughts because it was something that he got used to. The longing looks became normal. The constant invading of his personal space was standard by now. He actually caught himself gravitating towards Cas when he was too far away. He needed to be connected to him, even when it was just their shoulders touching. It gave him comfort in a weird way.

Cas’s eyes widen and he suddenly seemed uncomfortable and Dean was able to see the red color on the angel’s cheeks.. “You don’t have to.” He said in his usual low voice but there was something else in it. “But it is indeed a disturbing feeling.” The angel admitted and felt bad for wanting the touch, the feeling the fingers working on his wings. His face flushed even more and he looked to the side. “But it’s not of import.”

Dean lifted a brow. What was that expression? Was he ashamed? Or was dean right with his assumption? He shifted his weight and felt the awkwardness in the air when Cas’ cheeks seem to glow. “Uh.. well.. it’s no big deal. Don’t actually own a feather brush and I guess I rather don’t screw around on that bone.” He blinked as he pointed at the twisted bone. “That.. came out wrong.” He cleared his throat and dropped his arm, blushing himself. “Okay now big bird. Turn around will ya.” He would do this just to prove something to himself.

Cas looked him straight in the eyes and made a little nod. He turned slowly and moved his wings down so Dean could reach them. He bit his lower lip and tensed slightly. He was not sure how it would feel like exactly. No one ever touched him or more his manifested angelic self like that. He trusted Dean enough to let him but still felt a bit torn. He prepared himself for any kind of sensation and looked over his shoulder.

Dean swallowed a gasp when he saw the whole mess of Castiel’s wings. The bigger bones that jut out from the shoulder blades were almost completely blank. It seemed like the muscles that should be there are gone, burned during the fall and he made a face. He wondered if Cas felt them burn. His right wing was still covered with enough feathers that it actually looked somewhat healthy on some spots. Maybe there was even a muscle, a tendon? How do Angel wings even work? He stepped towards Cas’ back and raised his hand but not yet touched him. It was strange to see how the wings seem to stick out of the fabric of his coat like it wasn’t even there. As if the clothes did not exist at these spots. “Speaking of big birds.. Are they working like that? I mean.. Bird wings?” he asked as he decided just to touch his shoulder first to soothe the angel like he actually was a scared bird. 

Cas shook his head and relaxed at the touch for a moment. “No, You have to know that these wings are just a physical representation of what I am… a part of my true form” he explained. “I don’t need muscles and tendons to use them. And I would rather not explain the concept of ‘flying’ it’s really complicated” He added and looked briefly over his shoulder, meeting curious green eyes. The need to feel the hand on his shoulder in his feather, even the few he had left, was growing every second. “You may touch them now.” He said and turned his head to hide another blush.

Dean stood still and met his gaze, his blue eyes were filled with something that he couldn’t describe and he would almost say it was longing. It was not weird at all right? Was it? Dean shifted his weight and let his hand move from Cas’ shoulder to the blades and touched the edge of his wings just briefly. There was a slight pain in his forearm, coming from the mark but it seemed to cease as longer he touched the spot. Maybe the angelic energy was soothing the dark inside him. How could he know? More fascinating was the little tickling in his fingertips as if light sparks were moving from the feathers into him. He saw the muscles of Cas’ shoulder twitch and was that a gasp? It was to low to be sure. “I.. kinda touch you know? I mean the you.. you?” 

Cas made a nod but seemed tense. Dean let his hand linger at this spot for a second before he let his fingertips slide to the place were he should actually touch. The twisted feathers in the middle. Both wings seem to react to the touch or more Cas seem to react with flinching and he moved his hand away fast. “Did that hurt?” he asked fast and Cas shook his head erratic.

“No, it’s just…“ Cas licked his lips nervously. The touch felt more pleasant then he thought and the sensation was flooding him, dazzling him in a way. It was like Dean reached through him, touching his angelic entity. His heart beat increased and yet he felt the loss of this connection. He tried to control his breathing and straightened. He stretched his wings out a bit. “I’m fine.” Cas added and waited for another flood of this sensation. He felt selfish. Dean wouldn’t feel it and he felt like he was using him. 

“Alright, let’s get to work.” Dean was incredible nervous all of a sudden when he moved his hand back to the wing, now touching the feathers that somehow overlapped and some were really in a bad shape. They looked dry and filled with gaps. He slid his fingers through them carefully and a shudder from the body in front of him let him stop in his movement. “You sure you’re alright there?” Dean asked and another nod from Cas but no words let him continue. He decided to use both hands now and stroke through the feather to straighten them.

Then there was a pant that almost sounded like a moan. “Cas?” Dean’s face flushed at the noise and it met his core deeper then he ever imagined. He felt his body reacting to it and it should be awkward but it wasn’t. The brief tickle on his fingers was a pleasant, warm sensation and he continued without questioning again. Actually he wanted to hear this noise again and feel what it did to him. Yes, maybe it was a little weird. But who cares. They all are weird anyway.

“I.. I’m..” Cas couldn’t control himself. He panted, trembled and tried to focus but couldn’t. He couldn’t control the noise he made because it felt so good. So deep. The bond was throbbing inside him, his whole being was screaming for more of this connection and then it flooded backwards as if it tried to pull dean in, to heal the black mark on his soul or maybe to suck on the bond. Dean opened a mental door and Cas couldn’t close it. It was nothing he could stop so fast and he raised his brows, eyes widen. “Dean.. stop!”

He was just about to turn another feather, to straighten it to it’s normal position when something hit him, flooding him with a sensation that he couldn’t describe at all. It was moving deep, his chest felt warm and his vision got blurry. He didn’t hear Cas’ words in reality, he felt it inside him. The warmth surrounded him and he felt like Cas was everywhere. His body froze, got out of order when his soul met the angel’s true self, surrounding him, pulling on him and it felt familiar. He felt this before. In hell. This force that saved him from the pit. The true being filled with love for humanity. Love for him no matter what he does, what he had done. An undying love that seemed to fill him up. He saw everything behind his closed eyes, in his mind, shining warm and pleasant, comforting. Physically he was crying, crying at the emotions that went through him like a rush. Cas talked to him with no lips, looking at him no eyes but the light blue glow that held him in it’s invisible grasp was seeking our for him. “Dean..” The soft voice was not even close to cas’s gravely deep voice. Was it even a voice?

Cas was drowing. He didn’t expect this to happen. He was holding on Dean’s soul but tried to let go. Dean would feel what he was feeling, for him. All these years. The first moment he met his soul. The bliss he felt was just overlaid by the fear that Dean would reject him after this. That he would feel disgust or shame. But his soul gave something away that he didn’t expect. It seeked for it, for what he was showing him right now. Dean wanted to feel this love, his soul urged for it and it made it harder to break the connection. The surprise of it hit him heavy. Of course he always knew that Dean’s feelings for him were different to the ones he felt for his brother but he never thought that he would mean so much for him. He finally managed to let go and removed his energies slowly in fear it would rip him apart. The Process from before forced him to turn and he held on Dean’s shoulder’s who stared at him blankly for a second, eyes filled with tears. Both were panting, shivering under the sheer power that went through them both. “Dean.. I’m sorry.” He said, his voice was hoarse, his throat dry and he had to catch a deep breath.

Dean blinked when the light of the bunker appeared and the inner light vanished. His heart was aching from the loss, his chest clenched and he stared at Cas’, blue eyes piercing through him and he had to get aware of his physical being for a second. His shoulders got slack and he swallowed hard. “The hell was that..” he said but he knew already. He just had to curse, to make sure his mind was working again and his mouth was still able to form words.

Cas lowered his head. “I didn’t mean this to happen..” he replied. He let his wings vanish into nothing again fast and felt like he just dropped a bomb on them.

“Shut up.” Dean blurred out. “All these years Cas? Seriously? Not a fucking word?” Everything made sense now. Why Cas was always there, always sacrificing himself. A big puzzle just finished itself and he was startled, startled by the pure love the angel just showed him.

The angel let his hands drop and lowered his head, looking at a button on dean’s jacket. “I thought it would make you uncomfortable. I rather kept it for myself.” Cas said and was not sure if he misread Dean’s reaction from before. Maybe his soul was willing to take what he was willing to give but dean was always so stubborn.

“You’re kidding.” Dean said almost angry. “I.. I have no words.. “ the hunter was really speechless cause he realized something about himself. He was blind and he was lying to himself. His soul told the truth. This was the reason why he couldn’t stay angry at Cas, even in the worst times, he had hope. Even when Cas was playing god, insane and wrathful,he tried to fight for him. There was still this relief that he felt when he was back just for a second, looking at him with these ocean blue eyes in regret and then the loss when Cas stepped into the lake, filled with the Leviathans. All the time he thought Cas was dead, he felt empty, hollow somehow. 

Before he knew what he was doing, he reached for Cas’ cheek and pulled him into a kiss that was filled with anger, frustration and built up need, despair ,realization, acceptance. It seemed so easy now, too easy almost and Dean missed the warmth of the connection they just shared but the kiss gave him another sensation and it also was his answer to the unspoken question of the angel. 

For Cas, the kiss was as unexpected as the connection from before but the angel gave in to the physical gesture of affection. Dean pushed so much into it that he felt dizzy. He never thought he would need it like this. That he would need a physical proof for emotions but now it was like he didn’t want to stop. He replied the kiss, gasping into dean’s mouth as he opened his lips briefly and grabbed his jacket to pull him closer. This was Dean’s way to say what Cas told him mentally before without using a single word.

Dean was surprised at the sudden pull and actually snickered before he pulled away. “Easy there tiger..” He said and realized that they both took a step over a line that he never dared to cross. But it was much brighter behind this line. The room seemed lighter, the guilt on his shoulders was less heavy and the mark of cain was forgotten for a moment. Cas tilted his head, a bit of confusion and need in his eyes and he licked his lips, still tasting the hunter’s lips on his. “Sorry..” He replied and his face was bright red, filled with heat like his body. “I got a b bit carried away.”

“No more sorries.” Dean replied and squinted slightly. “No more secrets.” He played with the rims of Cas’ coat. The coat that seem to be another reminder that Cas was Cas. A comforting piece of fabric, maybe for both of them. “Geez…okay, this is.. new alright..so let’s not rush into..something.” Dean blushed and felt like he was taking another step back. It was easy to think about it now so why not trying? He always loved Cas, the angel. Not Cas the man. It was just him, the one who saved him so many freaking times. There was not enough time to have a big gay crisis. This was nothing that dean couldn’t handle. But there was someone loving him regardless, deeply and he could give it back. He thought about Sam’s reaction for a second and it was a mix of amusement and awkwardness that he felt. But his brother wasn’t dumb. Maybe a talk and that was it. “Dean, don’t you think that we waited long enough.” Cas said, looking at him with so much more in his eyes that Dean was able to handle. The hunter pursed his Lips. “You’re right but.. the .. physical thing .. ya know.. Just.. dunno let us stay on the first base for a while.” 

The Angel looked at him confused, trying to unknit the figure of speech in his mind by what he learned from Metatron. It felt kind of wrong to use this knowledge but he understood and he made an agreeing nod, even when he would love to continue to celebrate this new situation. He could see that Dean was torn as well but there was no sign of fear. They could explore the new state of their relationship slowly. “Do you think we should tell Sam?” Cas asked and Dean made a shrug. “Nah.. or maybe .. I have no idea. Should we?”

“Guys…” As if he heard the thoughts of his brother, he appeared in the big room of the bunker. Like the usual speaking of the devil moment. Dean will never use this phrase because the irony in it was also a painful memory.

Both of them turned their heads slowly towards the hunter but Cas’ looked too blissed to explain this situation. Dean was more restrained and let his hands drop, just used one to rub his neck. “Uh..hey sammy.”

Sam shifted on his feet and he smiled, almost smirked at the sight and raised a hand. “Okay, don’t sammy me.. just make sure you don’t crush into each other when I’m around.” He just said and waved at them. He was not an idiot. It was a matter of time. Finally the reason for his third wheel moments got physical and the constant tension would lessen at least. Sam was happy. Also because hi Brother finally let someone love him which always seemed impossible. 

Dean opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. Cas had other plans. “Of course, Sam, There is a time and a place for everything.” Dean looked at the angel like he just opened Pandora’s box and then lowered his head in a smirk. 

Sam furrowed his brows but huffed a laugh. “Wise words, Cas. Back to business.” He couldn’t help but grin before he finally dropped a book on the Desk. “So get this..”

The end


End file.
